One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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