Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
