dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
