giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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