That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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