He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
