I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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