She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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