So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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