so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
