i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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