Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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