Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
