He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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