I accidentally had phone sex last night
North Korea, Best Korea!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
