I just threw up on my dentist
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
