I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
