I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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