Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
