she looked like the before picture.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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