just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize