where does the pee come out of this thing
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
