I'm so fucking centered right now
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
