Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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