I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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