dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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