Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
These tits shall not be calmed
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