im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
