i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's rum buckets o'clock
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize