if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
