just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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