She said her name was "party"
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
