I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
