Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize