Have you finally orgasmed yet?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
