matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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