I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
