My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
