imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
