Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
