You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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