I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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