A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
