I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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