We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
