we have pet lesbian snakes
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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