I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
