dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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