theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
