Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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