I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize