.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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