just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
